you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
