I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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