I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
