New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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