like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
