we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
