I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
