if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
