Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
