I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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