Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
