No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
