I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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