like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dignity is for republicans.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
