I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
