After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
