I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
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