Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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