Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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