so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
