And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
