So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
