I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
