It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
