No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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