i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
