How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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