Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
