Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
