i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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