So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
