I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Michael Bay diarrhea
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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