i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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