I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
