READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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