We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
