You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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