Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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