I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It's official drugs can't kill me
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
