Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
