Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
