worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
