How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
