do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
