forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
