Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
40s are totally the cure
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
