We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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