She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
tell me about the fingering
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