what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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