It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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