I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
